to Annoy
Quotes That
Make You
Cat Lady
"The Struggle
is Real"
Josie's Blog
Thoughts on Movies & TV
               Josie's Blog
An Observer's Thoughts on the World

November 1, 2017

November begins the holiday event and party cycle and lots of people will be calling off work. If you are an employer, I know your pain. You still might get a kick out of these excuses though...

If you are an employee, feel free to use a few of these excuses...I never questioned any of them.

I’m Not Going to Be In Today

The top reasons my waitresses used to call off work:

It’s nice outside. I want to go to the pool.
I hit a deer with my truck.
I’m hung over and can’t drive to work.
I have my period and I’m bleeding all over the place.
I have my period and I can’t walk because of the cramps.
I have to appear in court today to renew my order of protection.
I didn’t know I had to work today.
My boyfriend and I are fighting.
My husband and I are fighting.
My husband and my boyfriend are fighting.
I have diarrhea.
I’m being evicted.
I have a black eye.
My Mom and Dad left the country and didn’t tell me.
They didn’t call my number till late during visiting hours at the jail.
I’m tired because I stayed out partying last night with some of our customers.
I got my income tax refund today.
My son stole my car.
My ex-husband stole my car.
My alarm didn’t go off.
I had wild sex last night and now it hurts to walk.
I forgot this week was finals at school.
My babysitter showed up drunk.

And my two absolute favorites:
I don’t need any money today.
I kind of hate you Josie... I quit.