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November 1, 2017

November begins the holiday event and party cycle and lots of people will be calling off work. If you are an employer, I know your pain. You still might get a kick out of these excuses though...

If you are an employee, feel free to use a few of these excuses... I never questioned any of them.

I'€™m Not Going to Be In Today

The top reasons my waitresses used to call off work:

It'€™s nice outside. I want to go to the pool.
I hit a deer with my truck.
I'€™m hung over and can't drive to work.
I have my period and I'm bleeding all over the place.
I have my period and I can't walk because of the cramps.
I have to appear in court today to renew my order of protection.
I didn'€™t know I had to work today.
My boyfriend and I are fighting.
My husband and I are fighting.
My husband and my boyfriend are fighting.
I have diarrhea.
I'm being evicted.
I have a black eye.
My Mom and Dad left the country and didn't tell me.
They didn't call my number till late during visiting hours at the jail.
I'm tired because I stayed out partying last night with some of our customers.
I got my income tax refund today.
My son stole my car.
My ex-husband stole my car.
My alarm didn'€™t go off.
I had wild sex last night and now it hurts to walk.
I forgot this week was finals at school.
My babysitter showed up drunk.

And my two absolute favorites:
I don'€™t need any money today.
I kind of hate you Josie... I quit.